Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The more I think about this picture on the wall of the church, the more it makes me sad.
The ABC have been promoting it for ages like it says something significant about good ART .Its rather symbolises the doldrums and cul de sacs in ART .
After all, the men seem to get "the fantasy "bit , while the women get "the heaps of regrets "; and our kids are still stuck in this bad dream in a bigger way than we were.
Tell me I am wrong . If its true, its a crime, and its not fiction .If its true , many men are hypocritical and are afraid to tell the whole truth .
Too many broken hearts - too many avoidable mistakes. If there was absolution in this church, they wouldn't have to keep playing this depresssing lament every time we go to worship .
Outside of it , Love can still change everything even when you have failed . Ask the toughest men you have ever met (eg Martin Luther King, Mandella and Ghandi)
All men are not liars, but their little brains don't need much information to present it as an excuse to get what they want (esp the new tricks like contraceptives ,drugs,danger, good times, quickfix ).
Men are not simply two faced about sex and love, they just hide some of their feelings when an nice shape comes along and... they share the same dilemma as most human beings - they don't quite know what they want and how to get it, so when 5 minutes of fun turns up they are tempted to take it.
The important BOTTOM LINE HERE is this FACT: There isn't a male on the planet who wants to marry a women who gives herself away. If you want you or your daughters to have long relationships you need to face those facts and talk about it more openly - come out!
Whatever happened to the passion of women for their own? You don't have to be a wowser - just clear and ' yes I've changed my mind or, no its being strong like we need to be " . I used to enjoy the passion of "The coming out show" even though I sensed it was too reactionary and not well targeted enough to drive good practice with the failed sharing practice in many marriages . Of course you can leave , and yes it will make you a better person.
So, men are not by nature the problem . The problem was the sexual freedom argument was too simple, too smart and too much suited our tendency to blame the other person; a simple excuse attractive to rebellious teenagers with more hormone than experience and good sense in their veins.
Time, I say to dig a bit deeper and sing a different chorus. Time to, in practice, structure and place of worship, recognise that men and women are different .Their genes and bodies say so . Time to recognise that we like it that way, so how do we respect each other differences and support each others strengths and weaknesses?
Time for truth and confession in church
If we care about each other, we will know that some kids have no role models in these matters, but they desperately need them . Seeing adults deal with and admit their wrong choices can really help them.
So what if women tend to BE fickle and men to tend to fail to see beyond the logic of the little brain. Women are often more emotional, men more objective . How can we , all so different, build courage and conviction for our children to grow comfortable in old age together.
We've been watching . "THE GOOD LIFE" , that great old BBC drama, built around lifestyle choices, but whose real strength is in the way 4 very different people learn to live together and stay together to enjoy the next round of potentially life exploding tension . Pamper yourself, enjoy watching a bit of fair fighting. Afterwards, don't just sit their in the pews listening to long but very incomplete and same old same old excuses for a good sermon that leaves at least half the congregation without any absolution .